My dear friends,
Wedding fever has hit. The Rectory has been abuzz as preparations have come together for our eldest daughter’s wedding. The marquee is looking resplendent, bunting and lanterns and flowers flung far and wide. And naval signalling flags have been hung across the lawn which say so I’m reliably informed by my Naval son-in-law to be: ‘England expects that every man will do his duty.’ Will, being in the Royal Navy, would probably have preferred the wedding to be at sea. Mind you, with the amount of rain that has fallen in the last week the marquee is almost afloat so he’ll feel quite at home. Preparing my first Father of the Bride speech has been interesting. Having conducted dozens of weddings this is the first time I’ll be the other side of the service sheet, so to speak. And I’m discovering for myself the old truth that, rather than losing a daughter I’m gaining a son. Both sides of that saying are true, for a marriage, quite rightly includes both loss and gain. When a couple is joined together in any form of long term commitment there are certain things that it is right to ‘lose’ from the time before they were together. Old ways of living and behaving. Something new has taken its place and there is another in the relationship whose interests we seek to serve. In this respect there are close echoes with a life of faith. One of the illustrations I often use in a wedding service itself is to present the bride and groom each with a large medal. On the back of the bride’s medal, which is given first, is something to remind her of where she stands now that she is married, for written there are the words, ‘Second place.’ The groom then receives his medal and I tell him that he too has something written on the back of his medal to remind of him of his rightful position in marriage. He turns his over to see (sometimes with disappointment) the words, ‘Second place.’ For the medals don’t say what they are getting in marrying the other person – they’re not receiving ‘second best’ but it represents where they place themselves in the relationship: that they willingly place themselves in second place only because they are putting the other person in first place. And if both people seek to do that, one for the other, the relationship should be on an even keel. In the Christian life we should be seeking to put Christ first. Gladly looking to the interests of another and by so doing there is never any sense in which we are receiving second place from him, for what he has won for us and gifted us is perfect, pure and everlasting. The Bible speaks of putting off the old and putting on the new; of ‘clothing ourselves in Christ’. If, in the things we seek to do we could truly say that we did them through a desire to put Christ first what might be the outcome?
Jonathan
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